Our Justice System

A life sentence.  What should this be?  In my opinion it should mean that the scum of the earth who have done something heinous enough to be given this as their sentence should not be allowed to see the light of day again!

I do not have a law background so am not passing comment pretending to know all the ins and outs of our Justice System but it just seems more often than not that people are doing the wrong thing, the Police are pulling out all stops to ensure that these pathetic excuses for human beings are captured only to have the courts let them off with reduced sentences or slaps on the wrist.  I’m sorry but I don’t think just because someone co-operated with the courts they should get any kind of special treatment or leniency in their sentence.  If you did wrong then you suffer the consequences.

I guess the thing that has made my blood boil recently is the whole circumstances around the death of Jill Meagher.  I think it’s safe to say that this event affected many Australians on different levels.   Women became a little scared, the streets seemed that little bit more unsafe but the outpouring of emotion from random strangers was phenomenal.  The Police Force pulled out all stops and worked around the clock to ensure that whoever was responsible for this was caught and he was.  He plead guilty.  He had form.  He is what I would describe as the worst kind of evil.  One that walks among us, blending in, living his life, yet with thoughts that you and I couldn’t even comprehend.

ABC News reported that he had been convicted in the past of raping 5 prostitutes.  Should it matter that they were prostitutes?  Shouldn’t it have been that he raped 5 women?  Should a profession have any bearing on a sentence?  He was found guilty of what he did… Rape… and was jailed for a minimum of 8 years.   Prior to this conviction he was jailed for 22 months of a 5 year sentence for sexual assault.  This man had a history and is obviously very disturbed.  The judge in Jill Meagher’s case described the sexual attack on her as “a savage, violent rape, of the worst kind” and yet he only sentenced him to 15 years of a maximum penalty available of 25 years.  Excuse my French but What the Fuck???  I don’t care how many degrees you have and how many certificates you have on your wall and how long you have been practicing law, you will never be able to explain to me why this perverted twisted evil person did not get the maximum penalty for this crime.

Because he was a good boy and plead guilty he will be eligible for parole in 35 years versus a sentencing without the option of parole if he hadn’t plead guilty. In my opinion, another one of our idiotic laws, just because you plead guilty you don’t get as harsh a sentence.  If you’re guilty, you’re guilty.  Whether or not you admit to it or the evidence is proven in a court of law, it shouldn’t have any baring on the sentence.  This man degraded a woman in a way that cannot be fathomed or explained.  He then killed her.  If these actions don’t warrant the worst kind of punishment that is available to a human being then I don’t know what would.  I will refrain from telling you what I would love to see happen to people like this but just think the worst you could come up with and then quadruple it.

We need to have punishment that fits the crime.  Yes I know overcrowding in our prison systems is a problem but has anyone stopped and wondered if a more serious form of punishment was given the first time a lot of these repeat offenders were caught then maybe they would not be there today?  You might say that’s a bit harsh and everyone deserves a second chance but I’m sorry, committing a crime that is potentially going to put you in jail obviously is pretty serious.  If we gave a severe enough punishment the first time they did it then they may not re-offend.  If we give a slap on the wrist and ask them nicely not to do it again, they why wouldn’t they?

Maybe I’m generalising and it could be seen that I’m stereotyping all people that get in trouble with the law but it just seems time and time again we see all this time and energy and effort from our forces go into trying to keep us safe in this world only for our Justice System to let them and us down by not delivering penalties that warrant the crime.  I don’t see this ever changing, if anything, I think it will get worse because as I get older I see younger generations getting more slaps on the wrists and not being made to be accountable for their actions and I can’t see how that is going to change.  I just hope to God that in years to come this cotton wool approach doesn’t come back to bite us on the ass…. I can’t see how it wont though…

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Please do me a favour…

When is the last time you paid your partner a heartfelt compliment?  And I don’t mean telling them their hair looks great or no that outfit doesn’t make their bum look big, or thanks for putting the bins out… I mean sitting down and telling them why you love them so much, how they really make you feel, how much they mean to you….

When is the last time you told your friends what they mean to you?  Why they play such an important part in your life, how grateful you are to have them in your life…

When is the last time you told your family how much you miss them?  How much you really love them, how they are the most important people in your life, how you are thankful for everything they have done for you…

When is the last time you paid a complete stranger a compliment?  Told them that the jacket they are wearing that you have been admiring from a far is great, told them you love the colour of their hair, told them the perfume they are wearing is really lovely…

These things cost nothing.  They are free to give and yet they will make someone’s day!   You know yourself how good it makes you feel when someone notices something about you that you haven’t had to bring to their attention, when someone tells you that they love you and you can see in their eyes how much it means.  Have you ever paid a stranger a compliment and seen the look of at first confusion, then embarrassment and then just pure happiness from hearing something nice from a person they do not know.  That small gesture in itself will make it one of the best days…

Girls.. you know how much you would love flowers for no reason at all, yet if you do get them you then ask “what have you done wrong”?  Just say thank you… and mean it… and appreciate it… yes sometimes there may be an underlying reason for them but then sometimes there may not.. it could just be a simple way of your Man telling you that he loves you more than ever so don’t question it…. And you know you could return the favour.. Ok flowers may not be the best thing to have delivered to your Man’s work but why not bring a six pack or his favourite drink home for him one afternoon out of the blue… yes at first he may questions your motives too because it’s not expected but it can be the “I love you” for him as flowers are for you…

Everyone is so busy these days living their lives.  The little things get forgotten or brushed over.  It’s these little things that make your life special.  They leave you with a smile at the end of the day, they make you feel like you are walking on air, they put a spring in your step that you didn’t even realise was missing.  Don’t lose that.  It’s those little things that keep you alive and enjoying life.

So I’m asking everyone to please do me a favour…. Sometime this week make the time to tell that special person in your life how much they mean to you and why they mean so much.  As your walking down the street, tell the next person that walks past that you hope they have a fantastic day.  Let your friends in your life know how much they mean to you and how you can’t imagine your life without them.  Tell your family you love them, you miss them, and they are your everything…  Make someone’s day just for the hell of it..

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Positive vs Negative

When someone asks you “how was your day?” how do you respond?  Are you someone who smiles and thinks of the good things that happened in your day or are you someone who automatically thinks of all the terrible things that happened in your day and start a 5 minute monologue of everything, that in  your mind, went wrong?  I get it… sometimes we have shitty days and we need to unload and let it all out.  Everyone has those days.  But is that how you see majority of your days?  Think about it…. Your last week….. What thoughts pop up first?  The good or the bad?

Being positive or being negative is a state of mind.  It is a characteristic that we develop over our years which has now just become an automatic reaction to day to day events in our lives.  For some people being positive is a really difficult thing.  It takes a lot of effort and can literally be exhausting to find the good in things rather than the bad.   Some people go through their days forgetting how to smile, how to laugh at a ridiculous joke they hear, how to be happy and take a compliment on a job well done.   Instead they would think the joke is so ridiculous and actually scoff at it and probably put down the person who told it or automatically think that the compliment is a double edge sword and look for some underlying motive to the nice gesture.   I can understand why these people get to the end of the day and are cranky at the world…. How exhausting must it be to go through your day feeling this low?

I know what it’s like to feel like the walls are caving in…. that your world as you know it no longer exists… that putting one foot in front of the other seems like a monumental effort… to question every thought you have, every feeling you have, every decision you make… but then at some point I had to make the decision, do I want to keep feeling like this, crying at the drop of a hat, wondering if this is as good as it gets, or do I want to get on with my life, take control, find some sense of purpose and live my life as it deserves to be lived?  I chose the latter…. And I’m not telling you this to get any kind of empathy or sympathy or praise…. I’m telling you this because it shows I’m human.  I also think I’m a pretty positive person.  I do love my life, I love waking up every morning and having a fantastic job to go to surrounded by wonderful people, I love having friends in my life that are so great I have no words to describe them, and I love my family and even though they are interstate they are but a phone call away….. the important thing though is that I made these choices to have these things in my life (well except for my family… you know what they say there… you can’t pick your family 🙂 I just got really lucky there…) and the choices you make in your life are so important.  They are what define you as a person, they are what define you in the eyes of others, but they are your choices.  And if you’re positive about the choices you make and make them with conviction and enthusiasm then you will have such a full life.  And you’ll be happy.  Life is what you choose to make of it you just need to make sure you make the right choices for you.  At the end of the day you are responsible for your life, for your successes, for your happiness and for the people you have in it.  Yes we all get dealt shitty hands at times and that’s part of life… it’s how you choose to deal with those moments that make you the person you are.

I’m not dismissing those that do suffer from depression or mental illness…. I have seen first-hand how much this illness can affect people and I understand for some people that assistance is needed and there is nothing wrong with that…. You just owe it to yourself to get that help.. Don’t ever be afraid to ask because you’re the only one who knows where your limit is and if you need some help getting back to happiness do whatever it takes to get there… but being positive is going to play a very big part in building yourself up and finding that happiness again.

I guess what I’m trying to say is life is too short.  It’s too short to waste time on being angry at others or pissed off with the world… life is there to enjoy and it is up to you how much you enjoy yours… Surround yourself with people who deserve to be in your life, do things that make you happy, give yourself a break… don’t be so hard on yourself… and most importantly, love the person you are, and if you don’t, then change… change yourself to be the person you want to be.  Put a positive spin in to your life… You will feel so much better at the end of the day when you can sit down and think of the good things that happened that day and not dwell on the bad…

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What makes a Good Parent?

Some people may question my authority to make comment on what makes a good parent given that I’m not one myself.  I’ve resigned to the fact that I probably never will be one which does sadden me greatly so best I just find a guy with kids and be a Step Mum!

I have parents though… and I think I have fantastic parents… and in my mind, this alone,  gives me every right to make comment on what I think makes a good parent.

I was raised to treat my elders with respect.  No adult was called by their first name.  It was either Mr and Mrs or Aunty & Uncle and even to this day those adults that I referred to as this as a child I still refer to as that.  Even though I’ve been told to now call them by their first name I just can’t.. just doesn’t seem right.

My parents were my parents… they didn’t try to be my friend.  It is only since becoming an adult and probably later teens that they became my friend too.  Children don’t need their parents to be their friend.  They have plenty of them in the school yard.  They need to be able to look up to their parents for guidance, assistance, unconditional love, tolerance, faith, trust and a sense of discipline.

Discipline seems to be a huge thing that is missing from children these days.  And I don’t mean in the form of physical discipline like smacking (mind you, I got a smack on the ass when naughty and it didn’t do me any harm…. Or not that I can see :-/ ) I mean in the way of doing what your parents tell you to, understanding and know the difference between right and wrong, accepting the consequences when they have done wrong.  This can’t be solely laid on the parents though.  Schools need to take some responsibility in ensuring that these disciplines are carried out and seen through also, after all, kids spend majority of their time at school and let’s face it, if a kid knows they can get away with it they will push the boundaries as far as they possibly can!  If you’re going to punish your child by means of taking something away from them or grounding them then you need to see it through.  There is no point in threatening and then backing off.  Doesn’t take long for a child to play you at your own game… They’re smart little buggers!

A good parent leads by example.  Let’s be frank… if you’re a dead shit parent then 9 out of 10 times your kids is going to grow up and be a dead shit adult cause they know no better.   I’ve seen it… kids I went to school with that were dicks then and are just bigger dicks now and their parents were no better.  One of my pet hates is swearing in front of children…  I know that swearing these days tends to be part of the everyday language but we still owe it to children not to influence them in the “wrong” way just because it is done by everyone else.  Kids are like sponges… they just soak up everything that is happening around them.  I remember when I was working as a Nanny, a little boy I looked after was learning how to talk.  Part of his Mothers every day vocabulary was the F bomb.  This innocent little boy new no better and chose at the most in-opportune time to show off his new speaking skills at a Business Dinner his parents were having.  It was one of those moments where everyone went dead silent at once and out it came “Oh Fuck” clear as day.  The interesting thing was that a 2yo even new the context in which it should be said as he had just knocked over his juice bottle…

I guess one thing not to brush under the carpet is the age old adage of what is better for a child?  One parent families or 2 parent families.  I personally don’t think there is any “right” answer to this question.  I have seen 2 parent families that have no bloody idea and I wouldn’t even regard the home environment as a family or loving environment and then I have been very fortunate to see and was a big part of in high school a one parent family and you could not have found a more loving mother who was there for her kids 110% and would have given anything to ensure her kids had a safe and loving home to come home to every single night.  I don’t think it matters whether you have one or 2 parents to come home to at night… it’s the “home” you are coming home to and the values that are present and that have been installed in you that mean more than anything.

I think being a parent, and a good one at that, is one of the most difficult things in the world.  I don’t think it is something you can plan or know exactly how you are going to act in a particular situation.  God knows, I tested my parents on occasion, and we had some almighty arguments, and being the first born they had to wing it and do what they thought was right, but they did their best and they did it with the underlying values and morals that they had worked so hard to install in me and they led by example.

I am grateful every single day for my Mum and Dad.  I like to think that if I ever had children I would raise them in the way that I was raised.  My memories of my childhood are wonderful and I would want my child to grow up with memories exactly like that.  I think the way they raised me has given me very good grounding to get through some very low and difficult points in my life but I have gotten through them and will continue to do so.  Yes my Dad was ridiculously positive when I was a kid (and still is) … you ask him how he is and his response would be “I’m fantastic” rather than the normal “I’m good” but that positivity rubbed off on me and it is so much better to go through life being positive and seeing things as “glass half full” then looking at the bad in everything and everyone.  My Mum was a Mum who wasn’t afraid to act on her own.  If I did something wrong she would deal with it then and there.  She wasn’t one of these “wait till your father gets home” kind of Mothers and for that as an adult I have great respect for her.  From her I have taken her strength as a woman that has helped me get through everyday life’s ups and downs and to deal with things the best way I know how.

I don’t expect everyone to agree with my views… that’s why they are mine.  And I know there will be those that will criticise me for even daring to speaking about “what makes a good parent” when I’m not one myself, but as I said to begin with, I wouldn’t change my parents or upbringing for anything in the world and it’s that, that gives me the right to comment on what I think a great parent looks like… they are a normal everyday couple who you see down at the local shopping center but they have hearts with so much love to give, wisdom they have shared over the years, morals they have installed in me and they are still there for me as my Mum and Dad whenever I need them no questions asked.  It’s those things that make a fantastic parent and it’s those things that every child in this world deserves to experience… they are things that money can’t buy but that everyone has the ability to give… it’s just your decision as a parent as to whether or not you choose too.

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Lil Ole Me

Well I guess it makes sense to make my first post about myself.  I’m 37 years old (OMG 3 years till the dreaded 40!!!!)  Newly single and living in one of the coldest places in Australia.. Canberra!  Which is surprising given the amount of Politicians that live here you would think that they would expel enough hot air to make this city nice and warm all year round.  I have been very fortunate to live in a lot of different cities around Australia and even though my “home” is Adelaide I would have to say that home in my heart is Queensland.  I spent a lot of years there, some were my happiest and some were my saddest but it always felt like home and it goes without saying that there is no other team when it comes to State of Origin so QUEENSLANDER all the way lol.

I regard myself as enjoying the simple things in life.  Loving family, great friends, a good chick flick on a nice cold day with the heater going and nothing beats a nice soft boiled egg with soldiers when feeling under the weather… Room temperature egg,  5 minutes 30 into boiling water and it will be cooked perfectly every single time!

Suffice to say you will come to expect some random entries from me… could be about cooking, my dog, the different hairstyle of the week, my opinion on something that u may or may not agree with or a really bad joke I recently heard..  No matter what, it may or may not be informative and may or may not captivate your imagination, and it could even be a waste of the 1 or 2 minutes it took you to read a particular entry but I dearly hope that at the end of each entry it has given you something to think about, something to smile about or something to hope for… Life is so short…. enjoy what you can and don’t be afraid to give someone a wet willy every now and then… the receiver may not appreciate it but guaranteed it will make u have a giggle!